_edited.png)
We Left Belize!
- Bree
- May 17
- 8 min read
Hi family,
I can’t even believe I’m writing this but….
After 3 magical years on our honeymoon island of Caye Caulker, Belize, we packed up our belongings (again) and moved off the island in preparation for our biggest move to date happening in September. Keep reading if you want to find out where we’re going (eeek!!).
I want to begin with the disclaimer that when we first moved to Caye Caulker, I was completely, absolutely and wholeheartedly set on living on the island permanently...like...for good. I’d envisioned the boys matriculating through the education system there, switching effortlessly between Standard English and Creole, I envisioned potentially buying property and continuously running The L.E.A.P. Retreat on the island (given that’s where it was birthed in the first place). With quick trips back to the States for family, friends and business, along with a number of trips around the world through the retreat and beyond, I had every intention of making Caye Caulker our permanent home base. The island’s energy, its high vibrations, the warm, loving people who make up the small but beautiful and loving community, and the joy and effervescence that had initially called us there for our honeymoon in 2019 were by all means what brought us back in 2022 to live with our children, having sold virtually every possession we had in order to get here.
…but one thing I’ve learned since moving to Caye Caulker is that Spirit offers you opportunities, relationships and experiences for reasons, seasons or a lifetime. Despite what I’d initially thought would be permanent, Spirit had begun showing us over and over again that our experience on the island was not only temporary but would be exactly what we needed to ease us into the transition of getting us to our (potential) forever home, far, far away. In all honesty, about a year ago, we began to suspect that this experience had an expiration date but I chose to ignore the gentle nudges from Spirit because I was so hyper-focused on what I thought I'd initially wanted without leaving room for Spirit to lead and guide us towards the place we now believe will catapult us into higher dimensions and timelines. Another important lesson I’ve learned since living on the island is that if you keep ignoring those nudges from Spirit and insist on doing things your own way (which is often rooted in trauma, a need for control or is ego-driven) without any ability to trust and/or surrender to the journey of alignment, those nudges get stronger and stronger until you’re forced to make a decision out of desperation instead of alignment and intentionality.
We noticed throughout our time on the island that despite the joyful abundance, the simplicity and the ease of island life, that virtually every single time we tried to root ourselves on the island and attempt to make this our forever home, we were met with conflict, friction and a clear sign that things were misaligned. For example, we learned early on that the housing market was outrageously over-priced so we realized that purchasing property was likely out of the cards for us. Some friendships that we thought were going to last a lifetime dissipated in an instant and we found out (the hard way) that some who we thought we could trust - even with our children - we in fact couldn’t. The cost of living steadily began to increase as the American economy shifted, the schooling on the island fell far below our standards for the type of student Josiah is, at this same school, he was unfortunately but very blatantly discriminated against and we also began noticing an energy of separation between the North-American immigrants (or expats) and the local community.
The island still served such a beautiful purpose and it offered us the following insights:
1.I first received the download to launch The L.E.A.P. Retreat during our month-long stay in May ’21 when we were trying out island life with Josiah (while I was pregnant with Zay at the time) and since receiving the download, I’m deeply honored and grateful to have hosted 7 sold-out wellness retreat experiences on the island, generating over a hundred thousands dollars for the same local community that has always held space for us and my retreat sisters.
2. Our time on Caye Caulker has taught us the art of what it means to truly go slow; a lesson that has left an indelible mark on our lifestyle practice and how we now choose to move as parents, entrepreneurs, spouses and individuals; slowly, intentionally and with a regulated nervous system. By living there for so many years, we’ve become almost hypersensitive to things that feel out of alignment, things that disrupt our nervous systems and people who do not vibrate at our same frequency and now (unlike any time before), we have learned the radical act of detachment and will gently and kindly go our own separate way(s) rather than forcing something that isn’t contributive to our overall well-being.
3. Island life has shown us the true beauty of the proverbial phrase: “It takes a village to raise a child” because we've seen firsthand how this beautiful community pours into its children, including our own. It didn’t matter if we were at a restaurant, a small cafe, on the beach, or one of our favorite cafes, "Ice and Beans", if someone knew our children (and most did), they would always hug/kiss them and lovingly call them “Papa”. There were always community events in support of the primary, elementary/middle and high schools and no matter what the circumstances, both tragic and triumphant, the people came together to show up for its children. This was another aspect of island life that made a permanent mark on how we continue to raise our children because now we know, wherever we go, a deep love for children has to be at the forefront of the culture.
4. Living on Caye Caulker brought to light the fact that though we don’t necessarily need a life of luxury in the way that it’s commonly promoted and flaunted in the U.S., there are certain things from our life in America that we still value including food diversity, entertainment opportunities (for both the boys and us) and solid educational programs. No, our boys don’t need to be ripping + running from school to one extra-curricular to another but opportunities for (self) exploration, discovery, connection and expansion are really important to us, especially as we continue to learn who our children are. When we initially came to Caye Caulker, Josiah had just turned 2 and Isaiah was a little over 6 months old so the simplicity of island life was perfect for them then. As they've gotten older and their minds, curiosities and needs are expanding, we began to realize that they may need a place that could offer them a little more so as to avoid any stagnation in their development and growth.
5. Our island life also brought to light the fact that though we don’t intend to move to another place to connect primarily with other immigrants (often a common symptom of a “colonizer mindset”), it is important for our next home to have a diverse community within which we can connect with like-minded individuals (local or foreign) who are genuine, authentic and trustworthy. On top of a few moments that reminded me of the cattiness of high school, there were times when I’d connect with people who were visiting the island and when they’d inevitably leave, my husband and I would joke that making friends on the island felt a little like “summer camp”, meaning that we would connect deeply and they would then leave…for good. Truthfully, it got to be a little frustrating because over time, I became somewhat resistant to connecting with people because I knew their departure was inevitable and that feeling of ephemeral relationships often left me feeling both triggered and rather lonesome. Don’t get me wrong, we have a number of positive relationships (primarily with local men and women) that kept us grounded and despite having to navigate other relationships that weren't aligned, we have established many friendships - for which we are profoundly grateful - that we are certain will span the test of time.
6. This didn’t necessarily bother me until later in our stay, but as a content creator with a combined virtual community of over 200k individuals from all over the world, I have single-handedly brought hundreds of people to Belize either through my retreats or simply from my posts on social media in which I often boast about the beauty and serenity of what is commonly referred to as the “Jewel of the Caribbean”. I was featured on Channel 5 National News for my retreats and our journey here and my picture was also used during a Belize Tourism conference, specifically during their segment about “Influencers” and the importance of working with influencers who can help boost tourism to the country. In talks with different companies/brands about potential collaborations, I was rejected from every single one of them. EVERY SINGLE ONE. In the U.S. (despite living abroad) and in other countries where I'd only visited for about a week, however (mind you I’m currently in Turkey for a brand collaboration), I’ve been offered brand deals left and right which made me feel as if Belize never recognized my worth as a content creator despite the magnificent work I’d done (unpaid, unsolicited and unsponsored) to boost tourism to the country but more specifically, to the island.
Though it still stings a bit writing about it, this experience in Belize has taught me to not only know my worth but more importantly, to recognize immediately where I am not being valued and be willing to fearlessly walk away from spaces and places where I may not be appreciated, leaving room for divine guidance towards opportunities where my worth isn’t up for debate.
All in all, I will always and in all ways speak so highly about Belize and Caye Caulker. Over the years, we were fortunate to explore Belize City, Cayo and San Pedro which confirmed that despite its small size, it really does have vast landscapes with rich culture and heritage. The people are deeply proud to be Belizean and you can feel their pride in their regular celebrations that always reminded us - in the best way - that life in the Caribbean is celebratory, vibrant and joy-filled. Despite the challenges, so many lessons were learned, so much knowledge was gained, and my children’s minds expanded in ways I just don’t believe would have been possible had they spent those years in the States. Their joy, the openness, their kindness was also nourished, strengthened and deepened having lived on an island where they became the most beautiful products of their environment and our ability to parent them fearlessly.
Everything we now know about the type of life we not only want but fundamentally deserve - one with ample opportunities for education and exploration for us individually and collectively, a life with some of the same amenities that we once had in the U.S., a so(ul)-nourishing lifestyle that prioritizes peace, wellness, calm and centeredness, a life where our work never feels mundane or stagnant but expansive and fun, a life where our value is appreciated and never debated, a life where our children can continue to experience what it means to be intentionally and radically free Black boys and a life where we can deepen our connection to nature, to Spirit and to ourselves…is the life we’re pursuing in September (divine 9 month) when we take the greatest leap of our lives to the “Island of the Gods”, also known as Bali, Indonesia!!!!
Comments