What Happens When You Choose Alignment | Part 2/3
You're back. I'm grateful.
Without future ado, let's get into Part 2, shall we?
Ok so boom...Upon our arrival back to the US from our month-long stay in Belize, we shared the news with our parents & a few close friends that we had decided to become expats, leaving the US permanently for Belize in March 2022.
While on the island last May, CB also made the tough (read: scary af) decision that after 15+ years of working for the government that he would embark on the radical journey of full-time entrepreneurship. His ultimate intention was to immerse himself in full-time entrepreneurship such that it would be fully sustainable while on the island. From some, he got lots of support because Komplete Trucking, LLC had already become a budding business in the DMV; however, from many others, he faced pretty significant backlash. He was reminded that he had one son who was barely over the age of 1 with another baby on the way. He was reminded that we’d just purchased an incredible home in a decent neighborhood but that the longer we stayed in that home, the greater it would appreciate and only then should we consider making such a drastic move. He was also reminded that with all of the responsibilities of being a new father and a homeowner, that it would be "ridiculous" to leave the government because he had benefits (health insurance, retirement, pension, etc.) that covered not just him but us too. It was particularly challenging for CB because without his father or his brother in this realm, navigating the pros and cons of such a huge decision was really tough. It also really pained me watching him navigate such a profound decision without the assistance of the two men who he trusted the absolute most.
…but you know what he did…
He retired anyway.
We celebrated with a small retirement party at the house and even then, there were some folks who pulled CB to the side to ask him if he really felt he’d made the right decision. He stood his ground, with total conviction and assured them that he was positive and continued to enjoy what was an incredible accomplishment.
Finally we were a household of two full-time entrepreneurs and with that came its challenges. With me being home with Josiah as he became increasingly more curious about his surroundings, while I was getting bigger and bigger with the weight of Isaiah growing inside, there were days that were excruciatingly exhausting. On top of having to supervise a walking toddler while being pregnant and navigating all those subsequent challenges alone, I was still running my primary business World English Tutor, LLC full-time with 10+ clients and my hefty FDA contract, while trying to stay relevant on my IG page, post to the blog and expand my wellness brand, Cosmic Scents. We still found moments, however, to simply be together; to laugh, to talk, to unpack, to be intimate, to commune together and to strengthen and deepen our love for one another.
Amid everything that we each had going on, we sold the house in record time (in one weekend) and had to be out within 30 days. Mind you, at this point I was nearing 8-9 months pregnant so packing up the house, organizing and transitioning into temporary housing was…needless to say…challenging. But we persisted.
In the last few days of our time in our beautiful home; however, our marriage took a major blow.
As we were packing, CB hands me a letter addressed to my full government maiden name. Thinking it had to have been from someone who’d known me long before I blossomed into “Bree”, I opened it but wasn’t expecting to pull out a 5-page, single-spaced, typed letter.
As I began to read, I soon discovered that the letter was written by a woman who CB had dated years before he ever met me. Sis went on and on about the experiences they had shared together from their teens to young adolescence and that her recent encounter with him at the local TJ's brought up old feelings she'd been harboring for him, stating that she felt so heartbroken that his ultimate choice was not her but instead me. Although there was nothing that led me to believe that CB had been unfaithful, I was so deeply triggered, having been previously contacted by past boyfriends’ mistresses that I became ENRAGED. I completely lost it and threatened divorce because I had decided long before I met CB that if being happy meant being alone, I was fully prepared for that. After all, my parents were divorced and successfully raised me, so that (unfortunately?) was always in the back of my mind. I wrote a gentle yet firm letter back to Sis acknowledging her pain (I too had once been on the receiving end of a man's decision to pursue life elsewhere) but also affirmed that CB's decision had been made and it was me and our family. I continued that although it may be difficult to do so, it was time to move on and in true Scorpio woman/Mama Bear fashion told her to never contact me or my family again.
In time, CB and I were able to allow calm minds prevail and engage in a very healing, affirming and transparent conversation about what it looks like to set stronger boundaries so that his past can remain just that…the past.
Even though a major attempt to disrupt our marriage was made, guess what we did?
We got through it; stronger, more in love and even more connected than ever before.
Two days after this incident occurred, my water broke at just under 40 weeks and after two long, hard pushes, Isaiah made his most incredible transition Earthside! A week or so later, while we were on our staycation in Ocean City, we chuckled at the intention we’d set long ago in Belize and reminded each other that despite all the SHEER CRAZINESS of the past month or so, we were still ticking away at our major to-do list and were getting closer and closer to getting back to our little paradise. It was then that we were reminded of the challenges that come when you choose a path of true alignment.
We’re now coming up on my birthday and we’re considering a variety of ideas that would keep us all safe but still have a celebratory vibe so we decided on dinner and enjoyed courtside seats at a basketball game. We enjoyed our evening and the next night, welcomed a few friends over for a very small, intimate kickback so we could all commune together in what would likely be one of our last get-togethers before we left the States.
By that following Thursday, over half of the people from the party tested positive for COVID.
Although I was prepared to deliver Isaiah from behind a mask, I was not at all prepared to have to breastfeed him with gloves on while wearing a mask during what is one of the most intimate and sacred moments shared between mother & child.
I was terrified but I pushed through despite my decreasing milk supply (little milk was being made because without being able to taste anything, I’d completely lost my appetite). My physical body, as weak as it was, went into “protect the baby mode” so I insisted on still breastfeeding, pumping more during that time than I'd ever done with Josiah to ensure that Isaiah was still nourished, all while making sure that Josiah was protected & that CB was recovering steadily.
My 70+ yr old mother luckily tested negative but my father tested positive. I was riddled with guilt for having hosted this goddamn birthday party turned “super spreader”, which ultimately exposed my 70+ year old parents, my husband, my two children and so many of my closest friends. Needless to say, at not even 8-weeks postpartum, it was an extremely dark period but I’ll never forget how resilient I was as a mother & wife; protecting & nourishing my children by any means necessary despite suffering from what some call the deadliest virus known to mankind.
We finally recovered, tested negative and loaded up the boys for a 15+ hour drive to Louisiana for Thanksgiving. No one was prepared for what would happen during our trip down South that quite literally changed my life & shifted the trajectory of our move to Belize…