A Love Letter to My Tribe
HAPPY LOVE DAY, FAMILY!
Sometimes when I reflect on my life prior to marriage & parenthood, especially on days like today, I think about many of my experiences that I’d had in the months leading up to my encounter with CB.
On many of my first dates, guys would say things like: “You’re beautiful, you’re successful and you’ve got everything going for you…so why are you single?” They were quite unsatisfied, confused and/or put off by me simply saying, "Because I choose to be".
Few asked me to go deeper with that, thinking that perhaps I'd had too much baggage to maintain a health relationship or perhaps that I'd become so bitter (ugh, often women are so quickly stigmatized for being "bitter" when we simply know we deserve "better", but I digress...) to even think I was capable of manifesting a health relationship.
What those young gents didn't get was that I was single because after years and years of pouring into people who had left me feeling energetically, emotionally and spiritually malnourished, I was finally actively & intentionally reclaiming that energy, love and time and pouring it ALL into mySelf.
I was single because I finally realized that there were so many experiences from which I needed real healing. I needed to heal from having been cheated on, lied to, deceived, misled and I needed to forgive myself for and heal from having chosen relationships that were totally & completely misaligned.
I’d spent years ignoring my intuition & Spirit Guides, bypassing the literal and figurative red flags in pursuit of a love I knew couldn’t be reciprocated and for that too, I needed to forgive myself and heal.
I was also single because I was finally ready to experience what would happen (good, bad or otherwise) if I chose to unlearn & relearn the powerful difference between being alone and being lonesome; how to tap (back) into my own divinity to better understand that despite my flaws, my scars and the negative experiences that I’d had, that I was still deserving of a love that I’d always visualized & prayed for.
I wanted to (re)learn how to prioritize my needs in such a way that when I encountered my life partner, I wouldn’t be searching for completion or validation; rather, I would be able to bring to the table 100% of who I was finally prepared to be; unconditionally and unapologetically.
And so for my single ladies out there who are “single by choice”, celebrating days like today alone or with girlfriends, for my married Queens who are still doing the work in partnership with their love, and for the ladies here who are simply reclaiming their time, love and energy, I want you to know something:
There is truly divine power in being alone & in choosing solitude.
There is power in choosing to confront and heal your wounds from the past before you bring that emotional/energetic weight into another relationship.
And there is profound abundance that exists and will continue to manifest when you unlearn the notion that self-care is somehow selfish and instead revel in the beauty that is who you are, who you were and who you are actively & intentionally becoming.
Be reminded, however, that that work won’t necessarily stop when you meet your person and know the healthiest relationships leave room for that work to exist but spending time in solitude (and I can tell you from personal experience) moves certain people out of the way so that you are guided in the most incredible way(s) to your “person”, to the relationship that is finally calming, relaxing and easy and to the love you’ve always dreamed of.
Keep going & keep reveling in your beauty because you know what?
It will attract someone who will do the exact same thing.
Happy Love Day family, tribe!
P.S. Part 3 of the "What Happens When You Choose Alignment" will be released on Wednesday, February 16th at 11:11am.