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So here’s some tea before we get into the post itself...
Initially, when I launched this blog, I’d committed to writing a post every week. At the time, the words seemed to just flow right out of me and inspiration and motivation seemed to fill every post on a weekly basis until many other things began to “interfere” with my writing process.
The mamas reading this already know what I’m about to say before I say but LAWWWDD have mercy, as Josiah grows, so do the responsibilities of motherhood and those responsibilities are constantly changing!
I am intentional about being as present as I can be with Baby Jo and take advantage of the time we're getting to be home together but full transparency, finding a balance between finding time for Bree, being Jo's mama & CB's wife, between creating content for IG, fulfilling orders for Cosmic Scents, teaching my clients through W.E. Tutor and finding time to write has become somewhat of a challenge. I’ve since come to peace with the idea that when there is time and I feel compelled to write, I simply will. I’ll find a quiet moment even if it's just a few minutes to allow whatever words I have at the moment flow right through me onto this page and so family, here we are.
I felt compelled, more than ever, to write this post for everyone who is subscribed to the blog but really to my sisters and brothers who so desperately need a moment of positivity and pause. I’ve been practicing these 5 tips on a daily basis so trust me, my recommendations originate from a very intentional and authentic place.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
The times are tough right now. We know that. The negativity that surrounds us is creeping its way into our conscious and subconscious minds as we're navigating some sense of clarity amidst it all, so we can either allow that energy to smother our ability to be grateful & positive or we can find ways to shift the energy in ways that can grant us access to higher vibrational behaviors and ways of living.
But how do we actually SHIFT the energy?
Here are my 5 tips as a new wife & mama, entrepreneur and a Black woman in America.
1. Shift the question from “Why is this happening to me?” to "What can I learn from this?”
When you choose to live a life of intention, you'll soon realize that coincidences are few and far between. Every experience, even the challenging, hurtful and painful ones, are placed along your path as opportunities to bend, grow and transform.
Pops (aka my father) always used to say, "Beans, your lessons are either going to come through pain or pleasure" and as an adult who has survived trauma, I can you tell from experience that there is true power in being able to find one thing that you learned in every experience you encounter even if you can't necessarily identify the lesson right away.
This piece of advice comes from having survived a heartbreak so deep and emotional trauma so painful that I could have easily chosen to never trust men again; with my heart, with my body or my energy. Instead,
I shifted the energy from that of a victim to that of a survivor.
I affirmed that regardless of all that I had experienced, I was still worthy of a soul-touching & spiritually-moving type of love, so I took a moment of pause to reflect on a few critical things from that 3-year period.
I learned to first identify and determine what exactly self love was, what it looked like to me and then how to employ it. I learned that healthy love doesn't require lowering my standards, it doesn't require that I neglect what I know I deserve and most importantly, I learned that without the companionship of a man, I am absolutely and unequivocally whole, unique and complete.
2. Remind yourself that your path is uniquely yours
In the age of social media, each of us has at some point along our scrolling, seen someone we follow and thought to ourselves, “I wish I were" or “damn, it must be nice to…” or “if I had her/his…, I would…”, etc.
Look, it happens. We’re human and when we see something we don’t have either physically, financially or romantically, we have this innate tendency to compare ourselves to these people and sometimes consider ourselves “less than”.
Here’s what you have to understand, tribe. That behavior is normal but it’s low-vibrational behavior that can trigger doubt, feelings of inadequacy and more, which can manifest into anger, anxiety, depression and fear. Before we know it, we begin questioning all of the things (tangible and intangible) that we’ve worked so hard to obtain. We hand over power to things we think are better than what we have without realizing that we have EVERYTHING that we already need. What we don’t have, we’re on our own unique journeys to get and we have to remind ourselves of that when we begin comparing ourselves to other people.
3. Take Accountability
Look…this one is tough, but it’s got to be said. Sometimes family, the problem is you. Sometimes, it really is. Our minds are some of the most powerful tools that can shape, manipulate and transform energy both positively and negatively.
Consider this…Every single event that has even taken place in history all began with an initial thought.
Just one thought. Just one.
If you center your energy on negative shit, negative shit happens. If you center your energy on positivity, positivity happens. And yes beloved, sometimes you can spend all of your energy focused on positive affirmations and manifestations and the Universe WILL test you. Your faith will be tested. Your commitment to achieving alignment will be tested. Your discipline & your sacrifices will be tested.
Why?
Because sometimes manifestations occur whether it be the love we’ve always wanted, the career, the house, the job, the family, etc., and our fear, our hurt, our trauma, our past and other entities prevent us from truly being fully, authentically and unapologetically present. We slip into past habits, toxic cycles and low-vibrational behaviors because ascension isn’t comfortable. Setting boundaries is hard work. Saying "no" is frightening. The risk of disappointing someone else sometimes matters more to us than the risk of disappointing ourselves.
How do I know?
Because I’ve been there. Every once in awhile, I slide, too. Sometimes, I let my past creep into my present and sometimes I let my anxiety get the best of me. We’re human, so it will happen but we have to be willing to check ourselves on our own bullshit so that we can break the cycles of toxicity, allowing us to heal, transform and finally…after all of the years of hard work…manifest the life of our wildest dreams.
4. Affirmations
When you wake up in the morning, throughout the day or even before bed, take space, reflect and repeat several affirmations that will ground you & establish a sense of positivity that will awaken your chakras and remind you that you are filled with a divine and entirely unique purpose.
A few affirmations to consider:
I am actively and intentionally seeking alignment in everything that I say & do.
I am deserving of everything good, positive, joyful & abundant.
I am responsible for my own joy.
I am worthy of soul-touching, heart-awakening love.
I am holding myself accountable for my past, grateful for my present and excited for my future.
5. Express Gratitude
This to me is the single most important tip because what it does is force you to acknowledge the good that is in your life despite the turmoil and the chaos that may surround both your conscious and subconscious mind. Expressing gratitude grants you access to higher vibrational energy that resonates within you and around you lifting you above all that is negative so that for a mere second and sometimes it may only be a second, you are covered in a light of positivity.
No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter where you live or what circumstances you’re currently in, each of us has at least one thing to be grateful for. Even if it’s merely the air in your lungs or the blood in your veins, express gratitude for every opportunity that you get to breathe one more breath because if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that life is by far the most precious thing on this Earth.
Yesterday was the past, the future isn’t promised and today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the PRESENT. If you have nothing else to express gratitude for, express gratitude for that.